{"id":272,"date":"2012-10-25T10:00:45","date_gmt":"2012-10-25T17:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/?p=272"},"modified":"2012-10-17T08:58:30","modified_gmt":"2012-10-17T15:58:30","slug":"mark-plays-dragon-age-origins-hour-17","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/2012\/10\/25\/mark-plays-dragon-age-origins-hour-17\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Plays &#8216;Dragon Age: Origins&#8217;: Hour 17"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the seventeenth hour of <em>Dragon Age: Origins<\/em>, I escape frustration by being IMMENSELY PRODUCTIVE. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to play <em>Dragon Age<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><!--more-->Hour Seventeen<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Seriously, I turned around my game so quickly that I was basically singing &#8220;I&#8217;ll Make A Man Out of You&#8221; while slaughtering darkspawn and taking out mercenaries.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>LET&#8217;S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS<\/p>\n<p>TO DEFEAT<\/p>\n<p>DARKSPAWN<\/p>\n<p>DID THEY SEND ME WARRIORS<\/p>\n<p>WHEN I ASKED<\/p>\n<p>FOR NONE?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>I hightailed it out of the Deserted Building and headed straight to camp. I don&#8217;t care if that makes me a coward or a quitter. I accept these titles.<\/li>\n<li>I went back to my tired-but-true party: Morrigan, Alistair, and Wynne. They argue, they bicker, they make fun of one another, and they <em>fucking destroy<\/em>. Frankly, I missed Alistair&#8217;s wit.<\/li>\n<li>I decided to make my way to Haven by way of all the little side missions along the path!<\/li>\n<li>I first went to the Kadan-Fe Hideout, where I cleverly tricked the mercenaries to only come out three at a time. I would tell my party to stay put, goad a few out, get them to come to us, then REPEAT.<\/li>\n<li><em>shit yeah<\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>I should have noted their names, but I sent a group of mercenaries away. The Adventurers? Something like that.<\/li>\n<li>Next, I went to the camp marked &#8220;Refugees&#8221; to help with the darkspawn problem. I&#8217;d actually forgotten how easy Hurlocks and Gemlocks were! Well, relative to how strong my party is. It was a cinch to defeat them!<\/li>\n<li>I went to a spot marked &#8220;Civil War&#8221; and it was that battle with Loghain&#8217;s soldiers! It was also the first time I fought with allies, and it was awesome that the game marks them with blue circles instead of red so that I can tell them apart.<\/li>\n<li>After this lovely affair, I traveled to the Lake Calahad Docks, where I took care of one of the deserters of the Blackstone Irregulars. I had hoped to talk him out of it, but he fought us. We slaughtered them because <em>we are hot shit<\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>Ugh, why did I agree to be the bearer of sad news and inform women their husbands are dead? What a depressing quest. I&#8217;m sorry, Larana. :(<\/li>\n<li>All right, after this, I headed straight to the village of Haven. Right from the start, I&#8217;m way into this. It&#8217;s like a winter forest! Lots of pines, very green, and extremely, extremely creepy. The guard is clearly hiding something, right?<\/li>\n<li><strong>WHY IS THERE AN ALTAR WITH HUMAN BLOOD ON IT IN THIS VILLAGER&#8217;S HOUSE?<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>oh<\/li>\n<li>OH MY GOD<\/li>\n<li><strong>WHY ARE ALL THE VILLAGERS ATTACKING ME<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>WHY ARE THEY CALLED &#8220;CULTISTS&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON<\/li>\n<li>THIS THING JUST ATTACKED ME AND IT WAS CALLED A &#8220;SHRIEK&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT THING?!?!?!?<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>After this scene ended, Morrigan and Wynne got in a fight about the Chantry and I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE, MORRIGAN. STOP INSULTING MY FUTURE WIFE. If you weren&#8217;t so powerful and useful, <em>I would leave you at home<\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>Oh great, I lost 2 approval points with Morrigan for talking to her and bringing up her childhood because apparently she hates being girly. WELP.<\/li>\n<li>Oh my god, there are red things in my little compass thingy.<\/li>\n<li>oh my god what happened to this place<\/li>\n<li>WHAT IS THE URN OF THE SACRED ASHES.<\/li>\n<li><strong>ARE YOU KIDDING ME MY HOUR ENDED LIKE RIGHT HERE<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>i have cliffhanger&#8217;d myself this is totally internalized oppression now WHAT HAVE I DONE <em>WHAT HAVE I DISCOVERED.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>My Character Stats<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-16-at-9.51.44-PM.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-273\" title=\"Screen Shot 2012-10-16 at 9.51.44 PM\" src=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-16-at-9.51.44-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"949\" height=\"522\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-16-at-9.51.44-PM.png 949w, http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-16-at-9.51.44-PM-300x165.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 949px) 100vw, 949px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Strength: 24<br \/>\nDexterity: 23+2<br \/>\nWillpower: 18<br \/>\nMagic: 14<br \/>\nCunning: 17<br \/>\nConstitution: 21<\/p>\n<p><strong>Heroic Stats\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kills: 276<br \/>\nDamage dealt: 48280<br \/>\nFriendly-fire: 0<br \/>\nGreatest damage dealt: 90<br \/>\nContribution to party damage: 37<br \/>\nHit rate: 86<br \/>\nMost powerful foe slain: Uldred<br \/>\nInjuries: 7<\/p>\n<p>I lost 2 points approval from Morrigan for bringing up a girly mirror from her childhood, and gained 1 point from Alistair for gifting him some boots!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mark Links Stuff<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; You can follow me on\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/markdoesstuff\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/markdoesstuff\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook<\/a>\u00a0for any updates and live commentary on upcoming reviews I\u2019m writing.<br \/>\n&#8211; You should read this\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/10\/hello-mark-does-stuff-community-lets-discuss-things\/\"><strong>very important post<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0about supporting Mark Does Stuff!<br \/>\n&#8211;\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/category\/the-shoebox-project\/\">I\u2019ve started reading\u00a0<em>The Shoebox Project<\/em>\u00a0for Mark Reads<\/a>, the first fanfic \u201cseries\u201d I\u2019ve ever covered! Join me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the seventeenth hour of Dragon Age: Origins, I escape frustration by being IMMENSELY PRODUCTIVE. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to play Dragon Age.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[32,33,44,31],"class_list":["post-272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dragon-age","tag-dragon-age-2","tag-dragon-age-origins","tag-i-often-narrate-my-life-with-ill-make-a-man-out-of-you","tag-mark-plays-dragon-age"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=272"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":275,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions\/275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}