{"id":306,"date":"2012-11-06T10:00:36","date_gmt":"2012-11-06T18:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/?p=306"},"modified":"2012-11-05T23:25:15","modified_gmt":"2012-11-06T07:25:15","slug":"mark-plays-dragon-age-origins-hour-25-stone-prisoner-dlc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/2012\/11\/06\/mark-plays-dragon-age-origins-hour-25-stone-prisoner-dlc\/","title":{"rendered":"Mark Plays &#8216;Dragon Age: Origins&#8217;: Hour 25 \/ Stone Prisoner DLC"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the twenty-fifth hour of <em>Dragon Age: Origins, <\/em>Lord Harrowmont sends me on another quest, and THE. STONE. PRISONER. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to play <em>Dragon Age: Origins<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->LOOK BEFORE WE GET INTO THIS, I NEED TO KNOW ASAP: ARE THERE ANY OTHER DLC QUESTS I SHOULD GET BEFORE I FINISH THE GAME? BECAUSE THIS RULED SO MUCH AND I GOT SOME GREAT SHIT, AND BASICALLY, I&#8217;M SUPER EXCITED.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, first things first!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Orzammar<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Just before I headed to Sulcher&#8217;s Pass, I wanted to let Lord Harrowmont know that I had taken care of Jarvia so that the dwarf plotline could advance a little before I took a break. He was pleased, and then promptly informed me that what I had just done <em>didn&#8217;t matter<\/em>. Yeah, he couldn&#8217;t sway any voters because of some ridiculous law that I didn&#8217;t care to remember. So now I have to go find someone named Branka in the Deep Roads? What the hell is a paragon anyway? IDEK Y&#8217;ALL. UGH. How many political errands must I run for you, Lord Harrowmont? Well, at least I get to go down into the mine. THAT SHOULD BE AWESOME.<\/p>\n<p>On the way out of Orzammar, Wynne and Alistair had <em>two<\/em> conversations of note. It&#8217;s clear now that Wynne thinks of Alistair like a son. First, Alistair whined about a hole in his shirt and asked Wynne to fix it at camp. She begrudgingly agreed, Alistair pushed it, and she warned him that &#8220;PUCKERED GARMENTS MAY BE THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS.&#8221; Oh my god, they&#8217;re <em>adorable<\/em>. And just sixty seconds later, as we were about to leave the Hall of Heroes, he whines to Wynne about an itchy wound he has. ARE YOU A CHILD, ALISTAIR? Oh shit, that&#8217;s why he kept running into the fire in the last hour! It was <em>PRETTY<\/em>! Y&#8217;all, I just love this game so much because of shit like this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Camp!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This lovely video was commissioned by Lauren! Before I went to Sulcher&#8217;s Pass, I spent time sassing it up with everyone at camp. I GOT STEN TO GIVE ME A +4 APPROVAL. I FEEL VICTORIOUS.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Rp71lmuUNTU\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>Stone Prisoner DLC<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Rnl-U16drQw\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>These next four videos are all for Andrea, who commissioned me to play the Stone Prisoner DLC.<\/p>\n<p>And so I headed to Sulcher&#8217;s Pass, where Felix the merchant gave me a rod. <em>TO RAISE A FUCKING GOLEM<\/em>. Okay, 100% in support of this ALREADY SPECTACULAR DLC. Oh my god, I have <em>missed<\/em> the golem shapeshifting since I first entered the Fade, so I was super stoked to see where this was going. But before I could head to the town of Honnleath, I was shocked when the game directed me back to camp, where we were all attacked. YEAH, CAMP ISN&#8217;T SAFE ANYMORE. What the <em>fuck<\/em>? So now the creatures of the Blight are just going to start attacking me? Yes, they are, which I learned as my party traveled the map to Honnleath. We met <em>another<\/em> skirmish. Shit, I&#8217;m going to have to get used to this, aren&#8217;t I? That must be a sign of the desperation the darkspawn feel about the inevitable battle at the end of this. Fuck, how is <em>that<\/em> going to go down???<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, we successfully made it to Honnleath, a village that was completely deserted aside from tons of darkspawn and demons. Apparently, this is all that&#8217;s really left since the place was abandoned. After some hearty Walking Bomb-ing (I WILL NEVER GET OVER HOW SATISFYING THAT SPELL IS), I found the golem in the center of the town. All right, time to use the rod Felix gave me to raise it!<\/p>\n<p>Now.<\/p>\n<p>How about now.<\/p>\n<p>Now.<\/p>\n<p>Now?<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, nothing. What the hell? Did Felix give me a bad rod? (That sounds dirty. <em>Shush<\/em>.) I actually had to check the codex to see what the quest said now that I discovered the rod was dysfunctional. I have to go find the remaining villagers? Where? WHERE?<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/nQmzaVYtUK4\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>And thus, I am introduced to Wilhelm&#8217;s Cellar, a hell dimension as far as I am concerned. Weird crystals, creepy noises, and more darkspawn in a confined space than I have ever had to deal with. I fought my way to that final room, only to discover AN ENTIRE GROUP OF HUMANS BEHIND A MAGICAL SHIELD. Are they prisoners??? What are they doing back there??? Oh, wait, I can&#8217;t find out yet because I JUST DIED. Whoops, I should have paid attention during that battle. I didn&#8217;t notice that EVERYONE HAD DIED until I WAS ABOUT TO DIE. I did much better on my second attempt, utilizing Walking Bomb, Mind Blast, and Alistair&#8217;s newly acquired Cleanse Area to just completely dominate. I SERIOUSLY LOVE MY PARTY&#8217;S BATTLE DYNAMIC.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/obOT7TbonUU\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>So, it was time for me to find out what was going on here! The story of Shale the golem is fairly fucked up, which is saying a lot for a game that&#8217;s already pretty damn disturbing. Wilhelm was the one who brought misery to his family&#8217;s life when Shale OBLITERATED HIS BODY. Okay, and <em>why<\/em> do I want to raise this thing? It&#8217;s not going to crush me, is it? IT PROBABLY IS. Did I just pay $15 to be repeatedly killed by a golem? WHO KNOWS?<\/p>\n<p>Before I got to figure out if Shale was going to unceremoniously murder me, I agreed to go find this guy&#8217;s daughter, Amelia. Yeah, just watch the video. <em>I am not okay with any of this<\/em>. This cellar was already unnerving, and then there&#8217;s a talking cat with glowing eyes that&#8217;s asking me nicely if it can possess this girl, and then <em>I fucked up<\/em>. I bet if I had solved the puzzle, my lie might have worked. Instead, I aggravated the demon cat, AND I GOT AMELIA KILLED. NO. WHAT THE FUCK. DID I JUST HAVE TO KILL A CHILD? Great. GREAT.<\/p>\n<p>This game is all kinds of messed up.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iEbjQnlQk5c\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Oh gosh, SHALE IS REALLY GREAT. As much as I enjoy having Alistair around, I <em>really<\/em> want to see what it&#8217;s like having Shale in my party. So, I swapped one warrior out for another, and this is LOVELY. Plus, I got so much good shit in that cellar! The Harvest Festival Ring alone was worth it, but now I have <em>a goddamn golem on my side<\/em>. Time to return to Orzammar and fuck shit up, y&#8217;all.<\/p>\n<p><strong>My Character Stats<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-31-at-3.19.23-PM.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-307\" title=\"Screen Shot 2012-10-31 at 3.19.23 PM\" src=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-31-at-3.19.23-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"931\" height=\"544\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-31-at-3.19.23-PM.png 931w, http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Screen-Shot-2012-10-31-at-3.19.23-PM-300x175.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 931px) 100vw, 931px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Strength: 27+4<br \/>\nDexterity: 25+8<br \/>\nWillpower: 21<br \/>\nMagic: 14<br \/>\nCunning: 19<br \/>\nConstitution: 24<\/p>\n<p><strong>Heroic Stats<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kills: 438<br \/>\nDamage dealt: 87090<br \/>\nFriendly-fire damage dealt: 0<br \/>\nGreatest damage dealt: 90<br \/>\nContribution to party damage: 33<br \/>\nHit rate: 85<br \/>\nMost powerful foe slain: Piotin<br \/>\nInjuries: 18<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mark Links Stuff<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; You can follow me on\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/markdoesstuff\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter<\/a>\u00a0for any updates and live commentary on upcoming reviews I\u2019m writing.<br \/>\n&#8211;\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markdoesstuff.com\/product\/mark-reads--video\">Mark Plays video commissions are only $25!<\/a>\u00a0You can provide me with map locations or directions of what you want to see me do as long as you don&#8217;t spoil plot points for me!<br \/>\n&#8211; You should read this\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/10\/hello-mark-does-stuff-community-lets-discuss-things\/\"><strong>very important post<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0about supporting Mark Does Stuff!<br \/>\n&#8211;\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/2012\/10\/mark-reads-harry-potter-and-the-half-blood-prince-is-available-for-purchase\/\">I have just released\u00a0<em>Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince<\/em>\u00a0for $4.99!<\/a><br \/>\n&#8211;\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/markreads.net\/reviews\/category\/the-shoebox-project\/\">I\u2019ve started reading\u00a0<em>The Shoebox Project<\/em>\u00a0for Mark Reads<\/a>, the first fanfic \u201cseries\u201d I\u2019ve ever covered! Join me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the twenty-fifth hour of Dragon Age: Origins, Lord Harrowmont sends me on another quest, and THE. STONE. PRISONER. Intrigued? Then it&#8217;s time for Mark to play Dragon Age: Origins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[48,31,47],"class_list":["post-306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dragon-age","tag-dlc","tag-mark-plays-dragon-age","tag-stone-prisoner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":309,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306\/revisions\/309"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.markplays.net\/reviews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}