Mark Plays ‘Portal 2’: Chapter 3 – The Return

In the third chapter of Portal 2, gameplay becomes increasingly complex as GLaDOS becomes increasingly insulting. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to play Portal 2.

Chapter Three: The Return

Light bridges? More turrets? Using light bridges and turrets AND beams to get through levels? YES, PLEASE.


Like Portal, the gameplay becomes so much more challenging with each chamber. Chapter three brings back the turrets, but adds Hard Light Bridges, which are REALLY FUN and SUPER BEWILDERING TO USE AT TIMES. Whenever I was on a bridge and needed to make a new one to get where I wanted to go, I would have to stop, analyze what color portal was where, and make sure I was deploying the proper color for the second portal so that I didn’t fuck things up. Despite that I’m used to the controls by now, these levels feel way more difficult than their counterparts. Often times, the available space to make portals is severely limited, so I feel like I’m forced to be way more creative than I usually am. It’s awesome. This game is a mental workout so far. Once I started using the Hard Light Bridges as shields, I really loved how diverse the gameplay in Portal 2 was.

My god, some of these chambers just hurt my brain. I’d just stare silently at the screen, completely stumped as to how on earth I was supposed to pull of some of these exits with only two available portals. THIS WAS BIGOTRY. THIS WAS OPPRESSION. But I found that working backwards from the exit often helped me piece together what it was that I needed to do, especially if it involved an intricate set of pieces in a specific order. Plus, I imagine there are any number of solutions to some of these levels, and what I chose to do might have looked silly to some of you.

I am, however, nearly through fifteen or so room. Are there only going to be 19? More? How long is this game?


Holy shit, Wheatley isn’t dead. How did he survive being crushed? WILL THIS TURN INTO AN ESCAPE GAME???

GLaDOS is extremely mean in this chapter, possibly because they want to discourage Chell from trying to win. They’re often hilarious, though I felt a little uncomfortable with all the comments about Chell’s weight. I guess it makes sense in context of GLaDOS being an antagonist, but it was a bit more brutal than I expected.



There were some definite changes, and during one of the levels with turrets, the music was quite… I don’t know how to describe it right. Angular? I noticed very high-pitched synths, and it sounded very modern. Otherwise, it’s all SUPER CREEPY AMBIANCE.


Ugh, this game is so PRETTY, despite that absolutely everything takes place indoors. The Hard Light Bridges are particularly fitting, and I’m surprised at how well they match the general color schemes of the game so far. I’ve had absolutely no problems in terms of lag, speed, or freezing while playing this game, so I’m impressed.


OKAY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Wheatley survived, Chell’s parents are inside the facility, and there’s a chance for escape? This is great, and the secondary plot (aside from the progression through the chambers) is acknowledged far more readily than in Portal. There are some hints to the building’s history from GLaDOS, but not enough that I have a grasp on what happened while Chell was in her stasis room. It’s still just bits and pieces. Again, GLaDOS spends most of the time actively berating me as I make my way from room to room. Do they want me to give up? Is this all a ruse? Is it just biding time until I emerge from the final chamber and it tries to incinerate me again? Or will they just fill the room with noxious gas and give me six minutes to escape?

(Sidenote: I didn’t comment on it, but I love games that give me as much time as possible to complete something. Add a timer to anything in a game, and I make foolish mistakes ever five seconds because I’m nervous. It took me eight attempts to beat GLaDOS in Portal. It was just sad to watch.)

I don’t know where the story is heading, but I’m counting on Wheatley to help me out.


I love momentum-based portals SO MUCH. They are so satisfying to pull off.

When GLaDOS called someone in the game a “neckbeard,” I almost choked from laughing so hard. I LOVE THAT WORD.

Aerial screenshot of a ‘Portal’ chamber. I’M SO HIGH UP.

This level was a trip. It took me a while to figure that I should BRING THAT GODDAMN CUBE WITH ME. I kept leaving it behind for some reason, then getting to the exit and freaking out about not having a cube. JUST CARRY IT, MARK.

A screenshot showing two Hard Light Bridges on either side of the image, and a weighted cube in the center.

It honestly took some fooling around for me to understand the value of the Hard Light Bridges. THEY GO THROUGH PORTALS LIKE BEAMS AND BULLETS. Oh, shit.

A screenshot of a poster on a wall that shows various turrets in ‘Portal’ with different skins on them.

Seriously, are these collectible turrets? What are these?

A screenshot of a ‘Portal’ chamber with two light bridges, a red beam running across the space, and the exit so far away that nothing makes sense.

This level ALONE took me nearly 30 minutes. I couldn’t figure out the arrangement you see here, and I only realized that I needed to construct PARALLEL BRIDGES entirely by accident when I misfired my portal gun.

Chris, I’m the worst.

“Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.”

Oh, I’d beg to differ, GLaDos.

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