In the third hour of Dragon Age: Awakening, I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SAID THAT I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH QUESTS IN THE LAST REVIEW BECAUSE THAT WAS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF MY LIFE. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to play Dragon Age.
I TAKE IT BACK. I TAKE IT BACK! Before I saved my game, I counted: TWENTY-TWO QUESTS. How the fuck do I deal with twenty-two quests??? Honestly, though, this isn’t a problem, and I love the fact that I have so much shit to do that it’s going to take me like thirty hours to get through all of this. THE MORE, THE MERRIER. Y’all, this is just so fun. I don’t have to worry about lacking the knowledge of how to play this game; I have built up an incredible character with a constantly evolving headcanon; HEARTSEEKER IS THE SINGLE GREATEST TALENT I HAVE EVER GIVEN ROSLIN. Oh shit, y’all, it is so terribly effective, and it gives me JOY every time I get to use it.
Can we just talk about how incredible this is? Like, holy shit, I know I got this expansion pack for a steal ($8!!!!), but I can already see how this is worth $40. It’s like a goddamn sequel! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SHARE WITH YOU.
- Anders really hates the Chantry. Understandably so, but he might be the only person who hates the Chantry more than Morrigan.
- Nathaniel gave Anders grief for naming his new cat Ser Pounce-a-lot. Shut up, Nathaniel. It is a goddamn perfect name.
- I had to go back into the throne room before I left Vigil’s Keep because I forgot to end the fealty ceremony. HOW FUNNY WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN IF I HAD LET IT GO FOR WEEKS WHILE I WAS OUT BEING A BADASS. Anyway, once I did, it triggered a scene with Nathaniel, who was reminiscing about his grandfather’s life as a Grey Warden. He was super appreciative of me giving him his grandfather’s bow, and now he realizes the man was a hero, unlike what his own father said of him. Oh god, character growth already.
- “I’m a fan of the Howes, and the Whys and the Whos and the Whats.” ANDERS, I LOVE YOUR HORRIBLE JOKE SO MUCH.
- Okay, time to figure out where I’m going first. OH MY GOD, THERE’S A NEW MAP.
- IT IS SO EXCITING TO ME THAT THERE IS A NEW MAP. Oh god, and it’s so empty, which means THERE ARE PROBABLY LOTS OF PLACES THAT HAVEN’T BEEN REVEALED YET. Yesssssssss.
- I chose to go to Turnoble Estate first, figuring that I’ll just make my way back east to take care of Forlorn Cove and Amaranthine after that. I was stopped for a brief battle with some darkspawn, where I used Heartseeker no less than three times, and it was glorious. God, having stamina draughts rules, too.
- Unfortunately for the family, I arrived at Turnoble too late. It was overrun with darkspawn, including a giant ogre. This was also the first time I got to use Feign Death during the game, and I did this because the Ogre decided that he would pick on me and only me. This meant he knocked me down, waited until I got back up, knocked me down again, ad nauseam. He wouldn’t leave me alone, that bully!
- At one point, I pulled open the Potions menu and found this:
- I don’t get it. WHY IS SER POUNCE-A-LOT ONE OF THE OPTIONS HERE. Oh god, what the fuck?
- I did get 15 sovereigns off a dead body. QUEST WELL WORTH IT.
- Forlorn Cove was next. God, I love that my Intimidate/Persuade is as high as the game allows. This quest took all of sixty seconds to complete. Y’ALL ARE DEAD. That’s what you get for kidnapping someone!
- It’s time for the City of Amaranthine!
- OH MY GOD THIS PLACE IS FUCKING ENORMOUS. Oh my god, it is gorgeous, some of the best design this game has ever given us.
- I found Colbert almost immediately near an inn outside the city gates! Is he drunk? He’s totally drunk. COLBERT IS DRUNK. Wow, he gave up the location of that rift pretty quickly. Also, as soon as he started talking about the rift, I expected the location to be in Cardiff. NOT SORRY.
- “All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools.” CAN I GET AN AMEN, ANDERS.
- I may have hit on Anders immediately after this. Look, the option was there, I didn’t really get to hit on anyone in Origins, and by god, it’s going to happen this time around.
- Whoa, Anders approves +13 after I hit on him, and I leveled up to Moderate Willpower! I RULE.
- What is Smuggler’s Cove and why is there a door in the floor? Oh shit, I want to go down there. I WILL FIND A WAY.
- GODDAMN IT, NOW I CAN’T. Constable Aiden wanted to talk to me, and he wants me to take out the smugglers. Initially, I thought, “Hey, cool, the game is making me choose between these two groups.” And then I walked near a merchant AND A BUNCH OF SMUGGLERS ATTACKED ME. Apparently I’m hostile on sight to them. Bah. Oh well! I guess I’ll do the “Law and Order” mission instead.
- Wait we need to talk about this:
- Why does this person have cornrows and locs? No. Oh god, what the hell. Like, the Dragon Age world is really white, so while this person appears a shade darker than most, it still looks awkward.
- OKAY, SO AMARANTHINE IS SO HUGE. Oh my god, there are so many people to talk to, I picked up at least ten more quests, and then this:
- WYNNE, MY LOVE, YOU ARE ALIVE AND WELL AND – did you just give me another quest? OH MY GOD.
Twenty-two quests, y’all. I would not be surprised if I gained ten more in the next hour.
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