Mark Plays ‘Dragon Age: Awakening’: Hour 4

In the fourth hour of Dragon Age: Awakening, no one is surprised that I literally got TEN MORE QUESTS. But I learn more about Nathaniel and Anders, and then WHAT THE FUCK WHO ARE THE BLIGHT ORFANS. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to play Dragon Age.

Hour Four

You know, since I no longer have to worry about the mechanics of gameplay for this game, I can just focus on fighting well and enjoying the story. That being said, guess what I figured out just now? That you can have two weapon sets and switch between them in the Select Menu. YEAH, AFTER I PLAYED ALL THE WAY THROUGH DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS. And I found out entirely by accident. Oh god, Roslin could have had her dual sword wielding perfect and a bow and arrow. WOW, I’M SMART. Y’all, this changes MY ENTIRE APPROACH TO THIS GAME. I’ll just sit here and laugh when I want to cry. It’s the only solution left.

So, was anyone else’s copy of Awakening kind of buggy? The following things happened to me, and they were such subtle mistakes that I felt like I’d entered an alternate universe or something:

  • I found Delilah in the marketplace, and Nathaniel spoke to her. About twenty minutes later, when I was chasing a rogue mage for the Chantry mission, Delilah was there again, and it triggered the exact same conversation all over again. What.
  • So, one of the Merchant Guild missions was to remove that Antivan poison from Amaranthine. I swear to you, multiple times I’d return to a spot where I’d picked up some poison, and it would be there on the table again. Does it respawn? Is that the point?
  • At one point, the Chantry was just a black room. I had to turn around, exit, and go back inside for it to… well, exist.
  • I am at a total loss for what happened with both the Law and Order and Smuggler’s Cove missions. In the last hour, it was clear that the smugglers were furious that they saw me speaking to Aiden, so they were hostile to me any time I saw them. Okay, fine, I fucked that up. So I’ll help Aiden out! For some goddamn reason, all the city guards keep calling me a murderer, and other random folks say the Wardens are terrible, and now Aiden WILL NOT EVEN TALK TO ME. So I’m at a standstill with both missions, and I’m so confused. I think I’ll just investigate more, because this could very well be the point!
  • Oh god, the goddamn game would trigger that weird attack mode where you can’t do anything but fight if I happened to be up on the battlements DESPITE THAT ALL THE ENEMIES WERE BELOW ME AND I COULDN’T ACTUALLY FIGHT THEM. With the exception of one time, I had to use Nathaniel and Anders to do long-rage attacks that were super time consuming. GOD.

But this wasn’t a disaster. I got so much done! Well, and I also got assigned more quests, earned a ton of sovereigns in the process.

  • So, Anders needs to destroy the phylactery so that he can’t be tracked again. That is the explanation behind his behavior.
  • The mission for Alma ended sadly, as her husband killed himself because he felt like he wasn’t worthy of her. Here’s the thing: when I turned in the quest to her, it was at the exact moment I earned enough XP to level up. So, imagine this: Alma is loudly mourning the death of her husband while the most dramatic victory music is playing and heavenly light is exploding around me. It was the most unfortunate coincidence in the game yet.
  • Nathaniel earned Moderate Cunning from me! HUZZAH! This was after the conversation we had where he realized his father’s actions got a Howe statue torn down in Amaranthine.

This is all well and good, but we need to talk about one thing for the rest of this review:

OH MY GOD, WHO THE FUCK ARE THE BLIGHT ORFANS. Initially, I thought it was kind of adorable, so I donated 50 silvers to them. Then they asked for more, and I thought it was a little suspect until I realized they wanted ANTIVAN BRANDY. Okay, orphans don’t need brandy to warm their soul at night. And then I had to KILL MOONSHINERS FOR THEM. Okay, this was clearly suspect, but the part of me that’s obsessed with completing everything could not stop. (PS: One of the moonshiners yelled at me for “barging in,” but dude, your door was totally open and unlocked. I did no such thing!)

But by the time I got the third round of requests from the Blight Orfans, I knew this was a con. Well, a con that was poorly disguised, outright hostile towards some people, and eerily respectful of Mother Leanna??? Also, why am I collecting a hammer and a pitchfork for orphans? They’re not even that far away! But the real kicker came after I turned in one of the last quests (I still have the scarecrow one left) AND THE DRUNK PATRONS STANDING ABOUT IN THE LOBBY STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE VERY THINGS I WAS DOING. Apparently, whatever I’m doing is helping these dudes to get drunker? What the fuck is going on? I AM GOING TO SEE THESE QUESTS UNTIL THEIR NATURAL END, I SWEAR.

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